Curiosity Kills

          Actually, I don’t really know what my heart wants. Hufff, now, maybe, I feel the feeling that people usually called : galau. It really is not a good situation for me, and for all people, absolutely. Falling in love is such a beautiful thing, but sometimes it can hurt you so much. Lucky for people who fall in love with the right person and unlucky for people who fall in love with the wrong person. Not just in personal, but situation also affects the success of feeling. When you’re falling in love with the right person but in a wrong situation, you will not be succeded to make him/her yours. Love is complicated, seriously. No kidding. Need a long time to understand about love, because love is not something that easy to understand.

          Love has been making me in a trouble. I don’t know where’s the best way that I have to choose to make me out of this fucking trouble. Falling in love with the wrong person in the wrong situation is like trap in a wilderness area alone without a road signpost. You will never know where’s the way to make you get out from the wilderness area. Confusion, only this feeling you’ve got. And the taste is really not good, right?

          That’s why I’m lazy to have an affair with ‘love’ thingy. I want my life back, when my mind just have contents about friends, lifestyle, education, and my dreams. Ugh, but I can’t control it. This feeling come to my life suddenly, entrance to my good life, and destroy my life that already in a good condition. HIM! Now, He takes the first rate in my mind, even the only thing in my mind right now, maybe. I know the situation is really not allow to make him mine, I’m sure I’m aware of it. But still, I can’t throw him away from my mind.

          He’s so perfect. Religious, handsome, smart, critical, having a strong leadership, sociable, and respectful. But He’s not single. HE’S NOT SINGLE! You know, He’s so nice to me, really care of me, give me some advices when I’m wrong, and always help me when I need something. He is two years older than me and the youngest children in his family. I’m seriously wondering, WHY HE DID ALL OF THAT TO ME? AND ALL OF THAT HAVE SUCCEEDED MAKE ME SET MY HOPES TOO HIGH FROM HIM. WHY???? I’m curious. Is He a coquettish person, scumbag man, or does He just assume me as his sister? He’s the youngest children in his family from two children, He doesn’t have a lil sister. It’s not impossible, He just wants to have a lil sister in his life that He can’t get from his family, so when He’s meeting me, when we’re talking, when we’re interacting, maybe He feels like He’s having a lil sister. SERIOUSLY I’M CURIOUS!!!!!

          Well, love is never wrong. If love could be wrong, it means God could be wrong, and I think God would never be wrong. When you’re falling in love with someone, you will just have a good thing from him though there are some people who told you he/she is not ‘a good person’. And you’ll never can control with whom you will fall in love, it happens suddenly, at the unplanned time, and at the place you never thought. Your mind tells you to stop it, but your heart won’t. I don’t know what’s the God’s plan for my lovelife, but I believe God brings him into my life with a reason. Nothing in this world happens without a reason, even God has a reason why there’s an ant in this world, a really small animal that sometimes invisible and forgotten. I believe God has an amazing reason for me why this is happened to me when I’m falling in love for the first time in my life at my 19th age.