Disappointment..

I have a very big dream, I know I really really know my dream is not easy to be seized. I really want to go to college in foreign country. At first, I'm interested to go to college in Germany. I like to go to college in Germany because in my high school I learn German language, I plan to study in the department of law. But I've realized that law in there is different with my country, Indonesia. 


I've already told my mom about what I want, but I haven't told her what is my big dream. I just told her I want to go to college in there. My mom give me a big support and she told me she can sponsore me to go there, she promised me that she won't change her words. I know, that is not a good time. I also feel my mother was not convinced by her words at that time, seems she didn't want to disappoint me. I know my fams financial is at the bottom of the wheel at that time and also until now hhh :'(

I keep thinking positive that I will keep going there. But suddenly I change my mind to go to France, I'm interested to study fashion man. Really wanna get job in fashion industry, I wanna be a brand manager of popular product like louis vuitton or miu miu or channel. I told her I've changed my mind, and she still told me ok, because for her the important thing is I'm happy with my life.

A few weeks after that, my mom told me that she can't sponsore me to go to France. Project which she thought will work was not successful, that's why she can't give sponsor to me. OHMYGODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY DISAPPOINTED...... I couldn't manage my emotions at that time. Whom I should be angry with? My mom? God? Situation? or what? I'm annoyed, I cried. I cried all night because it.